Peace in the Home – Daily Chizzuk with Rav Eliezer Berland Shlit”a

THE DAILY CHIZZUK OF OUR REBBE RAV ELIEZER BERLAND SHLIT”A – “MANY WOMEN HAVE AMASSED ACHIEVEMENT, BUT YOU SURPASSED THEM ALL” TUESDAY, ROSH CHODESH SIVAN 5782 These are his holy words: “Say ‘my sister’” (Breishit 12:13).  Rabbi Elazar began speaking and said, ‘Say that you are my sister’ (Zohar 49). The entire matter is to say to one’s wife “my sister.”  A person comes to the world to say “my sister” to his wife.  You need to say to her “my sister.” Say to her “my sister.”  Don’t say to her “stupid.”  You need to say to her “my sister.”  You need to say “my dear” – “my sister, my love, my dove, my perfect one” (Shir HaShirim 5:2). ALWAYS SAY TO YOUR WIFE “MY SISTER.”  THEN THERE WILL NEVER BE DIVORCE.  IF A PERSON KNOWS THAT HE’S UNABLE TO TELL HIS WIFE [THAT SHE’S] “SMART,” HE SHOULDN’T GET MARRIED – HE SHOULD SIT IN SILENCE AND NOT CAUSE HER GRIEF. Here we learn that someone who marries a woman and can’t tell her “you are my sister,” he can’t sweeten her – to tell her that she is smart, nimble.  Always tell [your] wife that she is the smartest, nimblest, the most… Don’t tell her, “You don’t cook.  You don’t know how to cook.”  She breaks a plate?  [So] the plate will be broken – there should always be mazal tov since the plate was broken! A person doesn’t know to say to his wife, “You are the smartest, you are the dearest – my dear” as it’s written “my sister, my love, my dove, my perfect one.” “Many women have amassed achievement, but you surpassed them all” (Mishlei 31:29).  About whom did they write this?  We always sing this after Maariv on Shabbat evenings.  Anyone who doesn’t know to say this shouldn’t get married – all of this is written in the Zohar, page 49. A person needs to tell his wife, “You are the best woman.  You are the most wonderful woman.  You are the most successful woman.  You are the most … woman.” Don’t say, “My mother cooked better.  My sister cooks better.”  Say the opposite – You are the [best] cook, you are the [best] chef.  There’s no chef like you.  You’re the chief of the chefs.  You surpass all women, you surpass them all. This is simple, this thing.  It educates.  I say this to all the grooms. WE HEAR THAT SOMEONE IS GETTING DIVORCED, THEN THIS IS ALREADY AFTER HE DEGRADES HER FOR TWO YEARS.  HE SAYS TO HER, “YOU’RE STUPID” AND THE LIKE.  HE DOESN’T EVEN WANT TO BRING HER A GLASS OF WATER. After this she screams, she screams, and he tells everyone, “My wife screamed at me!”  But you screamed at her a thousand times, and she restrained herself, said it’s not terrible. A person doesn’t understand that he needs to tell her all the time, “Many women have amassed achievement, but you surpassed them all.”  Always tell her that all [other] women are like apes, to tell her 300 times, “You are the only woman in the world – bone of my bones, flesh of my flesh.” He always runs to his mother.  “What? Manage alone.  I need to help my mother.  You manage in any situation.  You know how to manage.  Me – my mother is helpless.  My mother needs help.”  She has ten children and needs his help. THEN THIS IS THE OPPOSITE OF THE TORAH.  THE TORAH SAYS, “THEREFORE, A MAN LEAVES HIS FATHER AND MOTHER AND CLINGS TO HIS WIFE.”  YOU CAN’T SAY “MY MOTHER.”  HE NEEDS TO TELL HER, HE NEEDS TO SPEAK, “LOVE YOUR FELLOW AS YOURSELF” (BREISHIT RABBAH 24:7),  “YOU ARE BONE OF MY BONES, FLESH OF MY FLESH.  YOU ARE THE MOST SUCCESSFUL WOMAN.  YOU ARE THE ONLY WOMAN IN THE WORLD.” What gems!  What words!  “You are bone of my bones, flesh of my flesh.”  Where is there such a thing?  You are part of my flesh.  You are part of my bones. You are part of me.  What is the explanation?  We are the most successful couple!