The Secret of Survival in the Sea of Life: Bowing One's Head Before the Wave
Lesson No. 6 | Monday, Parshas Behar, 8 Iyar 5755 (Continued from No. 5)
How do we survive life's storms, humiliations, and difficulties? According to the teachings of Rabbi Akiva, the secret lies in the ability to 'nod one's head' to every wave that comes, to let go of the ego, and to allow the waves themselves to lead us to safe shores.
I Nodded My Head to It
The Gemara relates a story about Rabbi Akiva, whose ship once wrecked at sea. It seemed he had drowned, but eventually, he emerged safely from the water. When asked how he was saved, he replied: "A plank from the ship came my way, and to every wave that washed over me—I nodded my head."
This is a tremendous foundational principle for how a person should conduct themselves in this world. Life is full of waves, crises, and tests that threaten to drown a person. The secret is not to fight the wave with force, but to know how to bend. A person only needs to bend slightly; they do not need to compromise their spiritual principles or the things that truly matter. Rather, they must let go of their pride, of their "I."
When a wave comes—when wave after wave crashes over you—bow your head. What does this mean in practice? When someone comes to you with complaints, humiliates you, or hurls accusations at you: "You are wicked, you are a criminal, you are a heretic, you are a sectarian!" The natural reaction is to fight back, to justify yourself. But Rabbi Akiva's advice is completely different: agree with him. Tell him: "It's okay, you are right. I am a heretic, I am a sectarian, and you are the tzaddik, you are God, you are Mashiach ben David."
Why should you care if you see a fellow Jew happy? Let him be satisfied. You just continue with your principles, continue to wake up for Chatzos (midnight prayer), do an hour of Hisbodedus (personal prayer), and serve Hashem with prayer, song, and dance.
Do Not Fight Reality
The Sages said that wicked people will come and tell a person, "You are this and that," accusing him of theft, telling him, "You stole the building." Even if you stole nothing, the building stands firmly, and everything is rightfully yours—do not argue. If a person builds a synagogue, it belongs to the entire Jewish people; he has no private ownership over the synagogue. So let them come and talk.
The rule is: "When wicked people come upon a person—I nodded my head to it." We walk the path of lowering our heads. We do not need to concede a single point in our service of Hashem, but when facing other people—lower your head. Let the wave pass.
The Art of Floating on Water
The Gemara continues and relates a similar story about Rabbi Meir. Rabban Gamliel told Rabbi Akiva that he saw a ship wreck at sea and was deeply distressed over a Torah scholar who was on board. And who was it? Rabbi Meir. But after some time, he saw Rabbi Meir sitting and discussing Halacha before him. He asked him: "My son, who brought you up?" Rabbi Meir answered him: "One wave tossed me to another, and that one to another, until they spat me out onto dry land."
Rabbi Akiva was saved in the merit of a ship's plank, but Rabbi Meir found nothing. He simply lay on his back. A person needs to know how to float on their back. In the event of drowning, God forbid, when there are terrible storms, the secret is not to struggle against the water but to float, to let go.
The waves themselves push the person outward. If a person knows how to swim and float, the very wave that seems to be coming to drown him is the one that pushes him to the shore.
This is the depth of the concept of "water that has no end." When a person is in the great sea, in the ocean of life, they do not see the end. They do not see the salvation. But if they know the secret of "one wave tossed me to another," they understand that everything they are going through is just waves moving them from place to place until the Geulah (Redemption).
The Waves Lead to the Destination
A story is told of an English sailor who was washed off the deck in the Pacific Ocean by a massive wave. His friends were certain he was lost; they sat 'shivah' (seven days of mourning) for him and mourned. And behold, exactly on the anniversary of his passing, on his yahrtzeit, he suddenly appeared. Everyone thought it was a ghost, but it turned out he had managed to survive for 24 hours in the freezing waters of the ocean simply by floating, until a ship picked him up.
These stories teach us a tremendous moral lesson for life. Sometimes a person feels like they are drowning, that troubles are washing over them. They see no way out ("water that has no end"). But just as Rabbi Meir asked to be buried on the seashore and said, "Put me on the seashore, I will eventually reach Tiberias," and the waves indeed did their part—so too in spiritual life.
You do not need to do anything by force. Learn Torah, pray, do Hisbodedus—and the waves will already push you to the right place.
A person only needs to know not to resist Hashem's guidance, to accept the waves with submission and faith. In this way, those very difficulties are what will bring them to dry land, to safe shores.
Part 3 of 5 — Lesson No. 6