The Secret of Building the Soul: The Power of Yearning for Torah Study
Class No. 47 | Class 1 - Sunday, Parashas Vayishlach, 10 Kislev 5756 - Class in the Yeshiva
Torah study is not merely the acquisition of knowledge; rather, it is the central tool for building the soul and purifying the mind from foreign thoughts. This class explains how even a person who is preoccupied with his business affairs can merit tremendous spiritual illuminations, if only he maintains a constant yearning and anticipation for the moment when he can sit down and study.
We merit the crown of Torah through Hisbodedus (secluded personal prayer). In order to reach a state of bitul (self-nullification), the Hisbodedus that sweetens harsh judgments is only a Hisbodedus of absolute self-nullification—nullifying everything. One must feel: "I do not exist, I am nothing, I am the absolute zero. Let them insult me, let them humiliate me—I deserve it all. All the humiliations in the world would still not be enough to atone for my lightest sin."
We need many sweetenings of judgment. Difficult events are taking place in the world, and therefore we need self-nullification. We must believe that I am the lowest of everyone, and only this is called Hisbodedus that sweetens the judgments. Even if a person is doing Hisbodedus and missiles are flying around him—he must nullify everything and cling to Hashem, may He be blessed.
The Light of Prophecy in Torah Study
Our Sages say:
"One who studies Torah makes peace in the heavenly and earthly realms."
Whoever studies Torah makes peace among the angels. The ultimate purpose of engaging in Torah is to nullify all evil desires. The light of the Torah includes all the levels of prophecy. When a person studies and has vitality in his Torah learning, suddenly his mind opens up and his heart opens up, and then he is included in all ten levels of prophecy. A wise man is greater than a prophet—he can see things, feel things, and foresee things.
The vitality from studying only comes after learning for an hour or two. It is not that a person learns a little, sees that it is not going well for him, and immediately abandons his study. If he sits for another hour, he will see that suddenly a wondrous light opens up for him, and this light includes all the levels of prophecy.
The Spiritual Remedy for Banishing Foreign Thoughts
Whoever has bad thoughts, first of all, he must judge every person favorably. In addition, the spiritual remedy to nullify all foreign thoughts is to think about *chidushim* (novel Torah insights). If you want to nullify foreign thoughts, you must create novel insights and study novel Torah insights.
Novel Torah insights are what cleanse the mind and banish all foreign thoughts. Foreign thoughts only come when the mind is empty, whereas a novel insight grasps the mind and elevates it.
By truly knowing his own lowliness, a person will make himself literally like dust. The earth—everyone steps on it and spits on it, yet it yields diamonds, pearls, fruits, roses, and beautiful trees. So too, a person must only be a giver, even if everyone mocks him. If they spit in his face, he should say it is rain.
In the Shemoneh Esrei prayer, only after nineteen blessings through which a person is purified, can he reach the concluding section and request:
"And let my soul be like dust to everyone."
When he reaches this level, he will succeed in bringing everything from potential into reality. Everything he thinks and desires, all his good intentions—everything will succeed, and he will see the absolute point of truth.
Building the Soul Amidst the Burdens of Livelihood
The author of the Chayei Adam, Rabbi Avraham Danzig zt"l, writes that the main thing is Torah study. The soul is built solely through Torah study. Every day, a person receives a new Nefesh, Ruach, and Neshamah (levels of the soul), and he must first build the Nefesh through study.
The Chayei Adam testifies about himself that he was a great merchant who traveled from city to city. But he explains that just like a woman who intends to get married—the very intention activates her inner strengths. So too, a person engaged in commerce, if he thinks all day, "When will I finally learn?", this thought activates his mind and prevents it from drying up or degenerating. He is constantly anticipating: "When will I finally finish all my affairs so I can sit down and study?"
He continues and describes: "Even though I traveled great distances and was a great merchant, my wisdom remained with me. Because while traveling on the road, I set my mind upon it. During negotiations, in the middle of business, my mind was on the Torah, contemplating and raising questions."
It is exactly like a person who asks for a loan from a very wealthy man. Even if he currently doesn't have a penny, if the wealthy man sees that the money is invested in merchandise and that he has genuine intentions, he will lend to him. So too is Hashem – if He sees that you truly want to return to learning, that you are thinking every moment about when to go learn, He guards your mind, renewing and developing it, even when you are in the midst of business.
Rebbe Nosson's Advice: Yearning from within the Store
It is told about Rabbi Chaim Lirsman, a student of Moharnat (Rebbe Nosson of Breslov), who wanted to leave his store and sit and learn in the Beis Midrash all day. He wanted to close the business completely.
Rebbe Nosson said to him: "Right now you are burning for Hashem, may He be blessed, but if you destroy your source of parnassah (livelihood), after a month or two when the burning enthusiasm subsides a bit, you will be left without parnassah. You will fall into depression, start getting angry at yourself, and fall into despair."
Instead, Rebbe Nosson instructed him to keep the store, but to bring holy books into it. "When you have no customers – learn from them. And yearn for when the store will close on its own. Pray that Hashem will orchestrate circumstances for the good and the store will close by itself, without you doing it all at once."
And so it indeed was. He yearned so much for the store to close by itself so he could sit and learn, until finally it indeed closed through Divine Providence. A person must always yearn for Hashem and anticipate: "When will I finally be able to sit and learn Torah?"
Part 1 of 2 — Lesson No. 47
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